I guess I just attract interesting weddings. Went to see a close friend’s son get married in Orlando, over the Fourth, and the fun started as I was getting ready to leave the hotel for the church. Somehow, the cleaners got some things switched and my suit was bundled with one of Kay’s shirts instead of mine. Yes, that’s me wearing my wife’s shirt in the photo. We didn’t have time to go shop for another shirt, so I pulled on a polo with the suit and went, anyway. Luckily, that’s pretty common in Florida.

The wedding actually started on time and went rather flawlessly. The reception, however, was a whole ‘nuther story. The caterer was someone’s friend who was just starting out and needed the practice. He still needs the practice. The food was ..strange. One of the women sitting at my table named the main course “Lemon Pledge Chicken” because that’s what it tasted like. Nearly everyone left it on their plates.

The wait help for the entire reception consisted of two people. And the food must have been in a truck out back as it took the poor guy about 20 minutes just to get food to everyone at our table. Everything was cold. The person behind the bar gave up quickly and just set everything out for us to help ourselves. By “everything” I mean two giant jugs of Gallo wine and a keg of Bud Light. On the bright side, I didn’t feel compelled to tip anyone.

The wedding cake was homemade. It was a strawberry filled concoction. Ordinarily, that’s fine, but this cake had three layers, each one stacked directly on top of the other one. By the end of dinner, the top had fallen off and the whole thing was seriously listing to starboard.

But the worst part? The bride’s mother managed to forget the groom’s sister when doing up the seating chart. So, instead of sitting at the family table, she was stuck in the back with us. Poor girl was crying. Not sure if it was because they forgot her… or because she had to sit at a table with me. I’m betting it’s the latter.

Finally, take a look at the woman who caught the wedding bouquet:

When she bent over, one of the bridesmaids said, “You can see her underwear.” A guy standing nearby said, “Thank God she’s wearing some.”

This entry was posted on Monday, July 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.